To each his own!
This week I've read a few random Facebook discussions, a feature in Essence Magazine's online newsletter, and listened to a friend praise her own current interracial dating experience, so the topic is on my mind.
Is it even "issue" enough to discuss anymore? "Single black women outnumber single black men"..."Most black men are babydaddys or incarcerated"..."Black women are too difficult"..."That's it! I'm only dating white men from now on!"..."A brother shouldn't bring any woman home that can't use his mama's comb"...if you've heard one comment, you've heard them all.
So what kind of hypocrite would I be to say that interracial dating bothers me, when I have very close female friends of ALL races. ALL who have dated black men at one point in time, if not currently. I'm sure a lot of you fall into the same category. If you can spend countless hours having numerous things in common with your non-black female friends....why can't he?
And where do you draw the line? Dating a white woman isn't OK...but dating an Asian/Indian/Latino woman is? Are there degrees of "black like-ness" that are more acceptable when a black man is dating a non-black woman? If you're bothered by the white woman, you should be bothered by all other variations of non-black as well...right?
It is what is it. No excuses necessary. For whatever reason, not every black man is going to want to date a black woman. Some actually prefer not to. Some do it un-intentionally: things just happen! Can I get mad at that? Nope!
How many times have your heard one of your black female friends proclaim that they are DONE with black men, once and for all? Do you get mad at her for declaring this? Or if one of your black female friends walked into a room with [insert attractive/intelligent non-black male here]...would you shun her?
There are many reasons why the majority of people prefer to date within their race. Cultural preserverance comes to mind. Comfort. Familiarity. Natural attraction. However, having grown up as first-generation Canadians where we have been exposed to every race imaginable from infancy...is it that odd that some people will naturally gravitate towards classmates, co-workers, and neighbours of another race...and that they might actually have a lot in common with them, through common CANADIAN experiences?
You can't help who you fall in love with, and you can't always explain or historically justify what turns you on, or what you are attracted to in a mate. All you can do is mind your business and let people date whoever makes them comfortable for whatever reason. If they do indeed have an identity crisis, self-hatred, or a family complex...that's for them to deal with on their own. No amount of cut-eye or kiss-teeth will change that.
I am not mad at black men for dating outside their race, because everyone has free will, and will deal with their choices/consequences accordingly.
As long as I know I am making the best decisions for ME and my own personal, cultural, and social well being...everyone else can do as they choose! Even the brothers who prefer to date outside of their race.
It doesn't make sense to waste time and energy getting mad about this "phenomenon." Take that same energy worrying about how to make yourself a better person, and how to make sure you have your own healthy relationships.
We all have our preferences: dark skin, light skin, thick, thin, foreign, local, Jamaican, Asian...and sometimes we can't even explain why we prefer one "type" to another...it just is what it is.
I know what I like...and I can't expect others to agree with my personal tastes. I think it's only fair that we have the same respect for others.
What emotions do these images evoke from you? Why?