Thursday, August 13, 2009

Steve Harvey says: "Standards...Get Some!"

I'm sure one of your girl friends must have told you about this book by now, if you haven't already read it for yourself. Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, And Comittment" is like the new "He's Just Not That Into You." Equally entertaining, and very truthful.

And with any of these relationship "self-help" books, the author is never really telling you something you don't know deep down already. Even if you're happy, secure, and in a wonderful relationship already, I would still recommend that you take the book in. Steve Harvey is a comedian, so the book is funny if nothing else. The truth is refreshing, and he puts his message together in a very light and accepting way.

The 15 chapters are divided into 3 sections: 1) The Mind Set of a Man, 2) Why Men Do What They Do, and 3) The Playbook: How to Win the Game. Here are some of the highlights I found from each section.

THE MIND SET OF A MAN

  • A man needs his woman to have his back, and make him feel appreciated.

  • He needs to have his life in order before he can fully concentrate on fulfilling a woman's needs.

  • If he is "into you," he will not hesitate to show you off.

WHY MEN DO WHAT THEY DO

  • Let him know your "price" upfront: he will let you know if you're worth it, or he'll move on.

  • Either you're a Sports Fish (no rules, self-respect, or guidelines) or you're a Keeper; only you determine what type of woman you are going to be. Keep in mind: determining that you are a keeper is no guarantee that this guy still won't just walk away.

  • If a man is not looking for a serious relationship, no matter how great you are, you can't change his mind.

  • Don't let him get away with disrespecting you!!!! (Sidenote: EVER)

  • Men cheat because they can, and believe they will get away with it. There is always a woman out there willing to cheat with him. (Sidenote: DON'T be that woman either!)
THE PLAYBOOK: HOW TO WIN THE GAME

  • Get some standards; lay our your requirements, and he will decide if he is up for the challenge.

  • Let the man show you what he's made of; figure out how you expect to be pursued and do not settle for less!

  • Get to know his views on family, finances, religion, and how he plans to build his dreams.

  • Avoid being led on a string: don't be afraid to confront him with your needs and expectations.

  • Find out about his short term goals, long term goals, views on relationships, and what he thinks and feels about you...if you don't ask, you may never know.

  • Try to hold out the goods for 90 days...just like a new job, make the brother qualify for those benefits!

  • Play close attention to how he reacts to your problems, how he acts under pressure, how he handles bad news.

  • Make him feel like a man: don't give up your pride, job, education, or dignity...just be a lady.

  • If you expect to get married, let him know this, instead of waiting years...and hoping he will ask.
It's not rocket science, but it is interesting, it is valueable information, and we can all learn from previous mistakes, and false misconceptions. Relationships are hard work--regardless--but it's always nice to hear suggestions presented in a new way.

The one lesson that stood out to me: GET SOME STANDARDS! Respect yourself. This can apply when it comes to relationships, friendships, or even your job. Expect the best for yourself, give your best to others, and realize that you deserve to live and be treated greatly.

No excuses.

The book is wonderful. I recommend that you pick up a copy and read it for yourself. For a quick on-line sample, check out this <<excerpt>> that was shared on Oprah's website.

If you do get a chance to check it out or have already...please share your thoughts/feedback with me!


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